The last month has flown by.
It seems like only yesterday that I was so happy about my period being on time the first cycle without birth control.
Yet here it is again.
Gotta be proud of my body again though, 27 days this month. Not bad.
I was ok with getting my period. I knew I would.
We're not really trying yet. And I ovulated while at the festival. Trying for a baby at a festival is not really my idea of fun. Sleeping in sleeping bags, having a toilet a 10 minute walk away from the tent and having a friend sleep 2 meters away from us made it that we did not try while there. (Not that T was always capable either with all the beer in his system, but we won't blame him for it :-))
So, normal cycle and period it is. And we're ok with it.
To be honest, I've been doubting our decision to try again.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want another baby, but sometimes I think I should just leave it as it is.
I have two kids. They are 8 and 5. If I were to get pregnant in 2012, they would be 9 and 6 by the time the baby is born. Maybe the age difference would just be too big by then (it was already something I worried about when I was pregnant with Dylan).
Our kids are now big enough to be able to take places again. (babies are easy to take places, toddlers not always so much) And if we don't take them with us, they can easily go sleep at someone's house. If we have another baby, we'll be stuck in diapers again for a good while.....Will we still be able to do stuff and go places like we do now? Not that this is a reason to not get pregnant again, but our lives would change again.
I've been pretty good at dieting the past few months. I fit into most of my clothes. Why I bothered doing it if I want another baby beats me. Now that I have done it (not that I'm anywhere near my ideal weight on the scale), I sometimes think that getting pregnant again would mean that I've wasted all these months dieting.
I sound stupid. I feel stupid saying/thinking these things.
Maybe it's just my hormones and my bad mood which I'm in today.
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Hey there. Congrats on the normal period. That is awesome. Don't beat yourself up at all about the possibility of not wanting another baby. Fertile women get to decide weather or not they want to use their power and many choose not too. There isn't anything wrong with that. I think sometimes it's the fact that I can't get pregnant that is driving me to want to so badly. I know that isn't the only reason but it feels as if I have something to prove. I don't and you don't either. Just take it one cycle at a time and decide what is best for you, your body, and your family. (pregnancy is so hard on a body!)
ReplyDeleteWishing my period would show up soon!
ReplyDeleteThat's great your period is back in normal cycles. Don't rush anything, maybe you are not ready yet and maybe you decide to leave it like it is, with your boys that you have with you. Nothing wrong with that at all. In the meantime, enjoy the summer with your family :)
ReplyDeleteIt's not stupid to think through all of the ways that you feel about a situation. It's smart really. It means that whatever you decide will be the right decision for you.
ReplyDeleteOh, and that's fantastic news about your cycle :)
Know how you feel... I've been wondering about going though the nappy then toddler stage again after starting to enjoy the getting-places stage too :) Share your pain and your wondering about continuing to TTC. Love always xoxo
ReplyDelete