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| Day 18. Release |
(18. Release: What do you want to let go of on this journey of grief? Is it fear? Guilt? Worry? Deep sadness? Regrets?)
Anger, sadness, fear..... I can't shake most of these feelings....
Anger because it happened.
Sadness because I lost a child and no one should know what the feels like.
Fear for it happening again. Fear for something happening to my loved ones.
What if's. What if Dylan hadn't died. What if I hadn't caught listeria. What if we would have had three living children today......
All of this has changed me. I have always worried about loved ones. I worry so much more now. I know bad things can happen. I know there isn't always a happy end.
Sometimes I wish so hard that I would still be the person I was before.
Some days I know, realize, that all of this has made me a stronger person.
Still, I am not able to not be scared, not be sad, not be angry, not wonder....
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