Last day

Today is my last day at home.
Argh, I am NOT looking forward to going back to work. At all.

If anything, this whole experience has just confirmed to me that I am a mom in the first place. I work because I have to. I have to work so we have more financial freedom. So we can go out to dinner when we want to and go on vacations with the kids....
But that is really the only reason I work.

I'd like to win the lottery and just stay home and be a mom. Pick the kids up from school every day. Do homework with them. Cook dinner.
Granted, I only work 4 days. I'm home Wednesdays when the kids only have a half day school. So I have that afternoon with them. But still.

I only have to work Tuesday this week. Wednesday I'm at home, Thursday is a holiday and Friday the whole company is off. So I guess it's ok.
But I am still not happy to be going back. I just don't want to. I can't find any good reason with which I could convince myself that going back to work is a good thing, that I will be happy to be surrounded by colleagues.

No. I'm not convinced.

I'm hoping today will last forever.
I'm wishing I could skip tomorrow. I'm hoping tomorrow goes by very quickly.
I'm afraid I'll end up always hoping for Wednesdays and weekends because that's when I can be a mom. That's when I can be with my boys.

I'm going to go and try to enjoy today. And not dwell on the fact that it's my last day.....